#i want to gouge my eyes out after this lmao
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So, I (mostly) watched the recently found lost American dub of Legend of Prince Rama renamed to Prince of Light (which you can watch here). What intrigued me was Bryan Cranston, aka Walter fucking White playing Rama and James Earl Jones (Mufasa and Darth Vader) was the narrator. When I check the Lost Media Wiki for info I found that they cut the movie from 2 hours 11 minutes to about 1 hour 26 minutes (LMW states its about 39 minutes of cut stuff) and boy it was baaaaaad. Also, some scenes were swapped around wtf??. It felt like just watching an animated Adipurush really, the Americans fucked it up. Full rant/review under the cut to save your screen (image descs contain commentary). Lots of swearing be warned because I have emotions about this.
Part 1: The story stuff and emotional stuff
Alright first off, the intro got changed. It's no longer the cool ancient carving style and instead has clips from the movie with a weird ass border. Which is like fucking stupid you're spoiling moments and like it makes it feel low budget. Also, the scene of Maricha and gang fighting Rama and Lakshman was not included in the movie. The intro fails to tell about Ayodhya, Lanka, Dasharatha, just the fucking set up of the story (a lot of Hindu elements were cut out too :( damn you American Christians).
Vishvamitra and the brahmins getting attacked is the same and dandy with Vishvamita's prayer being a lot more Christian inspired (saying lord of the heavens above or something). Title screen got changed.
Ok now here is where it gets weird. They skip the showcasing of Ayodhya, showcasing of Rama and Lakshman, literally the entire Tataka fight is fucking gone, a key defining moment of Rama, it's his first fight and well kind of establishes him as the protector of Dharma! Infact, the first scene to introduce Rama was Sita's swayamvar. It makes so sense. 1. it does not establish Rama's character, he does not speak even a word (for whole 7 minutes too) 2. why would the audience care about this? It tells us nothing about our main heroes
Rama receiving the divine weapons comes immediately after because "he is of age now" (literally what). It feels out of place and serves no purpose with the cuts made.
Kaikeyi's whole thing was cut and glossed over and framed weirdly (with the close up of Manthara which makes it look like she is her). They frame her as being jealous instead of Manthara poisoning her. Then the narrator states that Dasharatha had to choose between love for his son and love for his wife and he chose his wife when that's not what happened?? Everyone who knows Ramayana knows Dasharatha was bound by his dharma and was forced to, dying from heartbreak because of it (and the curse but not relevant rn). Also Dasharatha never dies which is weird. And uhhhh why is the "Rama, why don't you blame me? Why don't you have a grudge against me?" line kept when he clearly chose his wife over him in this version?? The emotional dialogues of Dasharatha wishing for Rama to return, interactions between Rama, Kaushalya, and Kaikeyi were cut. This is just part 1 of the emotion sucking mother fuckers. Bharat meeting Rama and disowning Kaikeyi was cut :/
THEY CUT THE FUCKING PANCHAVATI SONG IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SONG WHY
They keep adding shitty ass fucking songs and new soundtrack. Maricha's dramatic screaming is certainly an uptake from his weird moaning as he died. Weirdly cut Sita having to convince Lakshman to go after Rama after hearing "his" cry for help (he just up and leaves after Sita says he needs help. After making the rekha ofc). Also, nitpicky but, Lakshman doesn't call Sita 'sister'. It just feels odd,,, he respects her a lot yet calls her by her name??? I dunno man (Bhabhi is the best word but English sucks ok sister is the best we got).
Why the fuck is Rama threatening to pick Ravan's teeth out with his bones, Sri Ramachandra would not say that ���Anyway Jatayu's death was delivered in a goofy way.
Why is Kabandha making puns, no he was not cursed by Ravan, Kabandha never told Rama that in exchange of freeing him from his curse he would answer one question. No Kabandha was not a threat to the vanars and their food??? That's so weird??? No mention of Vali, no Rama and Sugriva swearing friendship, Rama being emotional over Sita's ornaments was trimmed down (it was a touching scene). They also cut the swearing friendship scene WHICH WAS A GOOD SCENE. Weird ass vanars trying to find Sita montage (it sucked the music was fucking ass). WHY DID THEY MAKE JAMBHAVANT THE PERSON TO CURSE HANUMAN/LOCK HIS POWERS AWAY?????
RAM DOOT HANUMAN WAS CUT WHY ARE THEY CUTTING BANGERS
One line that I thought was funny "hope they know how to set bones in Lanka because they're about to have an epidemic"
Kumbha: breaths fire American!Hanuman: oh looks like someone's been eating spicy food again! Why....
The entire Lanka Dahan was painful. "the party's just starting to heat up!" 😭😭😭
Rama did not pray for 11 days and oh they transsed Varuna's gender, interesting.
THEY FUCKED UP SETU BANDHAM WHICH IS MY FAVOURITE SONG
THEY FUCKED UP THE FIGHT MONTAGE SONG WITH THE RAKSHASAS AND VANARS THAT SHIT WAS HYPEEEEEE WHY DID YOU TRIM IT
Fucking cutting all the important dialogue. They trimmed down on the Good Ksatriya vs Good human speech. Literally one of the best scenes and they fucked it up.
WHY THE FUCK DID THEY REMOVE THE NEEL VS PRAHASTHA FIGHT IT'S LIKE ONE OF THE BEST ONES LIKE COME ON
The Sugriv and Kumbha fight was intact, which I am grateful for because it's a favourite of mine, but they changed the soundtrack and cut out his talk with Nikumbha after :/ like what did the Americans have against characters being characters. They changed the order of Nikumbha's death and Kumbhakarn's awakening and like in doing do they cut the scene that traumatised me (LOOK I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO FREAKED OUT SEEING NIKUMBHA WITH THE AXE IN HIS CHEST CALLING OUT FOR HIS FATHER OK). Also not Hanuman telling him he has bad breath 😭
Oh and this bit of gold "yOU stAnD nO ChaNCe AgAinSt mE i'M a tRaIneD aSsAsSin" - Nikumbha 2001
The bit that kind of got me laughing was when Angad confronts Ravan and says "say your prayers shorty" like isdcbjsdbcdsjh WHO WROTE THIS SCRIPT??? (Dawg I wish I could clip this shit because oh my god there is so much that you all just have to see. Defo clipping Hanuman's bad puns and jokes)
Thank fucking god Rama's Attack on Titan moment was kept intact. Tho Bryan Cranston saying Kumbhakarn was like both funny and painful "Kumbhakernnnnn" HELP. Also why did they cut the slave freeing scene???
They butchered the illusory Sita being stabbed scene. They removed the set up for it (Hanuman and Angad getting shot) and Indrajeet taunting Rama. I mean at least they didn't censor it I guess??? Two things were funny tho, Bryan over acting Rama's reaction, and Lakshman shouting "coward" at Indrajeet and getting shot immediately after like dawg they even edited his mouth to move (does take away from the scene emotionally tho as in the original he comes in front of Rama to protect him while here it just seems like he wants to start a fight which yeah in character I guess). I find it impressive that they turned the moments that always gives me anxiety to the point of chest pain into something I fucking laughed at. Kudos.
Another thing I should clip. Indrajeet saying father weirdly. It was so drawn out and airy and just talking about his plan like shut the fuck up dude talk normally😭
Now this choice was weird. You know how after Sugriv gets the news that there are no more herbs in the area and none of them work on Indrajeet's arrows and Rama starts to get depressed about the apparent death of his wife and critical state of his brother but Vibishnan is like "naw dude Sita is alive my nephew just knows magic" and Jambhavant is like "just go to Nepal they got stuff there". Well, they changed the fucking order FOR NO REASON. So now it goes, Sugriv finds out there are no herbs (no mention of Indrajeet's arrows) -> Jambhavant talks about the Himalayas -> insert shitty Hanuman montage with new song plus flashbacks -> Rama laments about his wife and brother and Vibishan is like "nah dude my nephew just a tricky bitch".
That makes no fucking sense. This just makes it confusing. Even I was confused and I've seen the movie millions of times.
Removed the landmark scene and of course obligatory Hanuman pun :/ (deadass will learn editing just so I can compile all of them). They completely cut out Hanuman praying for the protection of Lakshman and asking keep to keep up his fight for life and referring to him a s brother??? It was a sweet thing and I guess because of this they cut out Rama calling Hanuman his brother. Also cut out Rama comforting Lakshman like bro what did they have against characters having more emotional moments and interacting with each other??? Nitpicky but they cut out Hanuman smiling after the animals run down the hill and startle the other vanars. They also don't show the vanars going up the hill and fetching the herbs or applying them to Lakshman's wound he just wakes up???? Like nothing happened he just immediately stopped dying.
Hey at least Lakshman vs Indrajeet was mostly intact I would've killed them if they did anything drastic (like with Rama vs Ravan), but they did remove the banter and Indrajeet parrying arrows. Ok now the final fight, the big one. Shitty montage/song. Please I wanted to put cheese graters in my fucking ears and then pour hand sanitiser. They removed the Ravan head cutting bit (well more censored it) and like yeah that scene have me trauma as a kid but it is PART of the experience. Censored/trimmed Ravan getting sliced by the chakra. Also the chakra has no meaning now that they removed it from the intro. It came out of nowhere. It was set up perfectly and they botched it. Oh who am I kidding they botched the whole fucking movie.
Part 2: oh my fucking God the voices
Why the hell does Rama sound a soft boy uwu type who was shy in high school and is a nerd. Bryan you did not eat here. He over acted or under acted
Why is Lakshman's VA over doing his dialogue like he is putting wayyyy too much energy.
Sita's just sounds,,, like a mother of two kids but she delivered her lines mostly well I guess (her screams were impressive I will say it does seem like she's putting herself in the scene)
Hanuman was made way too fucking goofy. He was saying shitty ass puns bro and jokes (seriously, bad breath and spicy food jokes? Bajrangbali would never). Usually he's made too serious, never really too goofy. James Earl Jones was a shitty narrator I'm sorry. How did he go from Darth fucking Vader to this (I don't mean to disrespect a recent dead man but seriously).
Pretty much everyone over or under acted in areas.
Part 3: closing notes
It was painful, it deadass felt like Adipurush with the story changes made and story elements cut. What kind of crushed me was the lack of emotional moments. It really felt like nothing was achieved, everything kept moving fast, it felt like there was no character development. It just, sucked. How do you take such a great film and just do that. Furthermore, they basically stripped most of the Hindu elements in the film like the word Om isn't said much at all for starters. Anyway fellow Bhakts and chuckle fucks have fun with this shit. Watch it if you want but it is a massive shit show. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk this review took more than a day to make and I avoided doing my 2000 word essay for this (funilly enough this is 2000 words itself).
#ramayana#legend of prince rama#ramayan#hinduism#hindublr#rama#ram#hanuman#lakshman#laxman#i want to gouge my eyes out after this lmao#please this was so bad#its something you watch with your friends to suffer and laugh at#also i feel bad for anyone who did have this as their first experience of legend of prince rama#THAT MOVIE IS ACTUALLY GOOD AND THIS SHITTY AMERICAN EDIT DOES IT NO JUSTICE#anyway when i find time i'll download the movie and clip the best bits (aka everything that made me want to kms)
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i would kill for a cup of this right now
#gu6chan's musings#yes before you ask i did stroll over to the rewe website and gazed longingly at this picture for like 5 minutes before posting#why is duck so goddamn expensive in the united states#ITS SO GOOD..... like i could pop over to the local chinese takeout and get a wholleeeee box of fried noodles; spring onions; carrots and#peas with HUGE servings of duck for like five euros and like two months after i came back to the us i distinctly remember asking if there#were any duck instant noodles at the walmart bc i could only find chicken beef and shrimp and they looked at me like i was INSANE#this used to be what i took to work everyday..... here its holiday food. im going to throw up#i wanna go back home... i wanna eat food that doesn't feel like gouging my eyes out... i want to put curry gewürst ketchup on everything...#i want currywurst in general tbh. maybe it's just the midwest since people KNOW what it is but curry is just a nonexistent concept here lma#but OUGHHHHH I WANT DUCK TO BE A NORMAL FOOD ITEM AGAIN... I WANT PAPARIKA CHIPS AND POM-BÄRRRRRR....#and mezzo mix.....#i want to taste the yoghurt ice cream i had in rinteln again..... idk why but it was rlly good there in particular lmao#i wanna go back to my cozy little flat and walk through fields and forests and trails and at evening count the number of slugs as big as my#foot.... uuuu....#does anyone wanna adopt a 27 y/o lesbian to take back to germany with them ive been told im pretty funny and can make a sick paper crane#sometimes i unironically wonder if the reason i havent been motivated to do anything at all lately isn't bc of the results of ppl not reall#showing interest in my work till its out but literally just living in the US. im happy to see my sister again and take care of her and i#dont WANT to say 'i wonder if it was even worth it' to leave for her but i dont know how much longer i can do thissss
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Coworker again asked me if I'm sure about this career path because she hates her job and maam please dont say that to me bc I'm NOT!!!!
#tbh healthcare sucks but so do most jobs that exist in different ways#but no actually im really not sure!! and i dont need to hear how miserable you are rn!!!#like ill still do it for a number of reasons but i gotta be honest im so fucking scared lmao#also i got an email today from the college i graduated from this past may about a program for medical lab tech program and#the job security and the pay is lesser than ultrasound and the idea of working in the same space all day makes me want to gouge my eyes out#but it did intrigue me#its a job away from patients. and yea its gross but i can handle nastiness just fine#plus i literally have like 80% of the curriculum done already#so im just rethinking EVERYTHING for the 1000000th time after getting my associates#pmwhdguoqmbsydub help#vent#personal
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resuscitation ✦ a sirius black microfic
— 706 words ; sfw ; wolfstar and platonic prongsfoot and black brother fluff ; fix it / crack lmao
“Hello?”
The first voice Sirius has heard in years and for some reason, the last one he expects to hear is Remus’. Or at least, he would be the least likely person if not for James’ cadence echoing through the narrow shoot to his cell directly after.
“Pads?”
Sirius calls out, his own voice grated from disuse, saturated in disbelief, “Guys?”
Then, the narrow gouge in Sirius’ cell where he’d been taking his meals is opening, widened by Remus’ handiwork, who is suddenly visible with his wand pointing at the stone. And next to him—
“James?!” He throws himself into his friend, unsure if he’s dreaming but not willing to waste a second of the reunion by taking any time to consider the reality of it. He wants to enjoy it.
James holds him closely, apparently uncaring of his emaciated form or rotting smell. “Sirius, you’re alright.”
“I’m alright? You died!” He shakes him without loosening his grip. “Moons, you better get in here. I’m not letting go of him but you know how terribly I’ve missed you.”
“Oh, alright.” Remus laughs and complies. “Let me get us out of here while I’m at it.”
Sirius hadn’t known that was an option. For a moment, he’s terrified. Worried that that change of scenery will wake him up. Then, there’s the tightening of apparation and he’s no longer in the oppressive atmosphere of Azkaban and instead in a cinnamon scented living room.
He’s free from the arms of his loved ones for an entire second in total before there's a mouthful of red hair and soft, freckled arms. “Happy birthday, Sirius.” A toddler is tucked between them and he has tears filling his vision.
“This is real?”
Lily laughs in his arms but it’s not her that answers. “I hope so. I worked really hard to get here.” It comes from behind him and he pulls away from the woman only enough to see the source.
It’s Regulus, his hair the shortest Sirius has ever seen it, a contrast to the unprecedented length of his own. He’s dressed in a muggle button down and jacket but it’s visible only through his robes. He looks clean and light. Unburdened. If it wasn’t his brother, he might not have recognized him.
It’s with his eyes locked onto Regulus’ nearly identical irises, that Sirius loses consciousness.
✧˖°.♡︎⋆。°✩
Later, when he’s feeling less lightheaded, Remus fills him in a bit and then Regulus, Lily, James, and Dumbledore stop by to explain the rest, the latter having joined them for tea and discussions after apologizing for his tardiness.
He learns of his brother’s bravery, inspired by the loss of Lily and James and his pride in his brother’s resilient pursuit of Peter. He finally confided in his knowledge of the locket, not knowing how important it was to the cause. Doubling as a spy for the Order, he had been in close contact with Snape and Dumbledore, without the knowledge of most members, who had returned his divulged information with the revelation of his theory on Voldemort’s creation of Horcruxes.
With everyone working together, it didn’t take long to gather the artifacts and destroy them. Helped further along by the sacrifice that Lily and James had made, which was returned with their lives when Voldemort’s curse magic had dissipated and undone each death carried out in the process of making Horcruxes.
“So, they just released me?”
At this, Regulus’ face falls and Remus hurries to explain. “Your release was a priority, it has been since we discovered that Peter was my counterweight. Secretly on Voldemort’s service. But the ministry is slow and—”
“Without us to prove it wasn’t you who betrayed us, it was hard securing your freedom. We’ve only been back three months and you’re already out.”
He is distracted by hands in his hair which isn’t surprising, Remus has been soothing the strands with his fingers while Sirius’ head lay in his lap for the past hour or so, but these hands are tiny and insistent.
Sirius shifts to look at Harry, who has crawled over to them from his blanket on the floor. “It’s over, then? Everyone is safe?” He asks Harry but addresses the room.
“Everyone is safe.”
#so basically 1.#no prophecy au#and 2. when killing with intent to make horcruxes if ur horcruxs are de#destroyed and ur killed then the deaths are undone#bc i said so#happy birthday sirius#also regulus took longer to defect and yeah#haters will say i made his birthday about everyone else but lovers will say mwah#actually just a 'snape is a bit more tolerable au'#sirius black#james potter#regulus black#remus lupin#lily evans#harry potter#wolfstar#marauders#marauders era#the marauders#black brothers#the black brothers#platonic prongsfoot#platonic jilypad#platonic lilypad#jily
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Hi, hope you're having a good day, here's one of my aunt's puppies and frog in a bucket
(Sorry for that last ask, I think i was tring to express a sympathy on "dealing with this thing sucks", pretty sure I fucked it completely, learned I shouldn't send asks after midnight, sorry)
OHOHOHOHOHO
And nah it's fine <3 Tbh just didn't know how to respond cuz I'm in the same boat. I was basically deported and don't have Aussie citizenship despite trying for years and living there most my life lmao. I know exactly how it goes and it's a chore. "There's no demand for shooters" suck my dick I am singlehandedly saving our natural ecosystems rn 😭
Slight rant under cut
ETA: Also I've met too many people who genuinely talked about wanting to get Australian citizenship because of TF2. Because they think Australia is just Sniper or something. Or the best country ever while ignoring the climate change/racism/housing crisis/inflation/price gouging/cost of living/inhospitability/natural disasters/etc. Australia isn't in a good state right now, most people are barely able to survive, and our middle class is practically non-existent. But people see Sniper TF2 and go "omg Aussie..." and decide they wanna be Australian for some fucking reason while literally knowing zack about the country OUTSIDE of how it's portrayed in media. Nothing of us or our culture, they think they know some slang terms or some shit and that's enough to be considered Australian. And that gets on my fucking nerves cuz I'm still tryna get citizenship cuz it's literally my home and I grew up there.
People also only do this with Sniper btw. You don't see people going "I'm gonna move to GERMANY!!" cuz of Medic, or Russia for Heavy, or Texas for Engie, or Boston, or France, or anything else. It's literally just Sniper. This fandom is fucken weird fetishy about Australia sometimes and on rougher days I genuinely wanna leave it because of it. Any time someone says they want Australian citizenship my first question is why? What do you think Australia has/can give you that your home country can't? Too many bad experiences. This goes extra double for countries on the same development scale as Australia—America, Russia, the UK, South Africa, cuz then it's obvious that it's usually more about what they think Australia is like (because of what they've seen in media) rather than them trying to seek a better life/better opportunities elsewhere.
Anyway the amount of people coming into my DMs/inbox going "how do get Aussie citizenship/immigrate" is too damn high. My brother in gaming if I knew how then I wouldn't be stuck in America. And when I know they're in the TF2 fandom it basically always leaves a bad taste in my mouth cuz my kangaboo detector goes ding. So most those asks get deleted
Sorry for the ramble. This has been on my head a while though. I've met too many people who fetishise Australia/Aussies cuz of shit they've seen in media. Hits me in that "white people seeing exotic nature of locals" bone. Australia is still a "wild land" in some people's eyes so naturally people (usually white) wanna come here and be weird about it. And it usually leads to exploitation (see: arguing with First Nations to give up land rights to built fucking houses)
Rant over I'm burnt out lol. None of this is directed at you I'm just explaining why I deleted the ask. Didn't know how to respond + my kangaboo detector went off. So I played it safe
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What's your Rod Ross headcanons?
YAAAAAAAAY ANON I really wanted to repost this from my old blog so thank you for literally reading my mind and giving me the chance xoxo gift wrapped for you with a bow on top MWAH
+ I mean… we all know Mello joined Rod’s gang by bringing him the head of a rival boss. But I’m pretty sure he did it… literally. How else would a gang full of 6′4″ dudes with Uzis ever take him seriously?? I love imagining him arranging an ingenious meeting with Rod one day, like, Mello somehow tricking him into talking with him, and telling him like… “so I heard you were trying to take this dude out, I can do it for you, ya know. lmao not bragging.” and Rod takes one look at him and just starts laughing his ass off. “Kid (which is what he calls Mello, btw)… I’ve lost six men to trying already, and their balls had already dropped.” Then Jose throws his ass into the street. A week later, Mello shows up at the front door of their HQ (how did he find us??? Kal gasps audibly, knowing Rod is going to kick his ass for this because everything is Kal’s fault) with a bloody pillowcase (because gift wrapping is NOT appreciated by any of those no-taste mafiosos…) and says “happy birthday, I work for you now. You’re welcome.”
+So you know that panel where Mello is sitting on the couch back perched behind Rod’s shoulder? Not a headcanon, just wanted you to think about it. :’) Here's another one btw:
+Their relationship actually has a somewhat solid basis of trust and respect. Even though Rod is an absolute maniac sometimes and would gouge your eyes out without a second thought, he’s incredibly intelligent--
PSA: READ HIS PROFILE IN VOLUME 13 YOU GOONS…. HE’S NOT JUST A BRUTE LMAO I HATE IT WHEN PPL WRITE HIM DUMB HE. IS. NOT. DUMB. he is smarter than most of the Japanese task force and of equal intelligence to lots of the ppl working with L such as Wedy, Matt… he survived a great many years of Kira eliminating criminals so he was smart and good at keeping a low profile until Mello came and fucked everything up.
--and Mello respects him for that. Even though Mello is a prissy little bitch that really only cares about what he cares about, Rod's like... well, he’s kind of a genius and his ideas have worked out in the past. And he’s pretty scary. They both like that about each other. Just generally being able to intimidate the shit out of ANYBODY that would dare look their way.
+Rod is probably pretty outwardly homophobic, and ribs Mello for being effeminate. While he doesn't ever let it go too far, he'll chime in around other members of the mafia. Both of them are secretly a little terrified of anybody finding out that they fuck around once and a while. But that's part of the thrill yk? Whenever anybody’s around, Rod always has a hooker on his leg and tries not to pay Mello any mind. But once they’re alone, Mello thinks it’s funny to bring it up.
+Speaking of letting it go too far, Rod allows any amount of verbal abuse, but has broken up more than a couple fistfights Mello’s gotten himself into with other members of the gang by “running that goddamn big mouth of his all the fuckin’ time.”
+While Rod normally backs Mello 110%, as his infallible plans have done nothing but provide a multitude of viable cash flows and absolute territorial dominance, when they have their disagreements (which get.. heated, to say the least), Mello will totally get physical. Rod finds this hilarious, considering he could literally break his neck with one hand. Anyway Rod only fought back once, when he was in a particularly bad mood, and Mello had to show up the next day skulking around with a black eye and fat lip, his lisp way worse than usual. It was the only time after Mello showed up until the day of his death that Kal actually experienced any degree of human happiness. Btw poor Kal. Read the dude's profile in HTR13 if you want a laugh. #AnneofGreenGables
+Mello was actually really surprised by how soft Rod’s scalp is. He totally oils it and his head always smells like aftershave and stale cigar smoke.
+In fact, in addition to both being super scary, they’re both super vain LOL I bet they both get their backs waxed after a long day clothes-shopping… and they both spend forever putting lotion on after their three-hour bubble baths… they spend all morning in front of the mirror while Rod shaves that WHACK design onto his face and Mello does his makeup… neither of them even looks at the other when they’re having sex because they’re too busy American Psycho-ing themselves in the mirrors they have surrounding their bed.
+They both LOVE zebra-print. Tacky fucks.
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Since I saw you reblogging an ask post...
I was reading one of your fics on ao3 (I forgot which one :,) ) and in one of the notes you mentioned that there were certain Skybound angst tropes that you weren't quite fond of. So what are those tropes if you do mind me asking?
Hey there! Starting off with a SPICY one, that's fun. I've probably got that note on all of my Skybound stuff in some way, shape, or form, because aside from being my personal preferences, these tropes I don't like run DEEP in the fandom. This is going to get long, so under the cut we go! (Cw/tw for mentions of SA and related topics.)
There are three main tropes in Skybound fic that I dislike, but they appear so often and in so many forms that it's impossible to name them all, so they're split into three main categories for ease here. Ordered from least to most irritating:
Probably the least annoying on this list: violence and gore. This is the most understandable one that shows up - after all, this is a fighting show, and of course we've got that whole eyepatch scene to reckon with - but it's still a little annoying. I can usually work past it unless it's take 62837272727 of someone gouging out Jay's eye or a souped up Scrap n Tap scene with nothing added but more blood and gratuitous violence. Doesn't matter how creative it is, that's usually enough to make me close out unless the fic has something cooler to offer. It gets boring fast, okay? Like, I completely get it most times, but it's been done to death. Not always a total deal breaker, though. I've used shades of it in my own work, so I can't condemn it entirely.
A lethal pairing I like to call Sopping Wet Cat Jay and Therapy Dog Nya- usually comorbid, very rarely independent. This also usually presents in post-Skybound reveal/healing style fics. Sopping Wet Cat Jay is when all Jay (when presented with Skybound memories or reminders) is capable of is being absolutely, well, sopping wet and pathetic about it. Lots of crying and wailing and nightmares. Therapy Dog Nya is the traditional response to this, where Nya forgets her own trauma entirely to be a huggable object and supplier of gentle reassurance that nothing that happens to Jay was his fault. Again, I completely understand why people write these, but I feel very strongly that they're a disservice to BOTH characters. Jay flew the Keep (ETA: originally wrote Jeep lmao) straight into the Temple and threatened to turn Nadakhan into French toast! Nya DIED after spending all season trying to advocate for herself and her independence! Did we even watch the same show? Sure doesn't feel like it when I see this trope. Absolutely, yes, trauma presents weirdly down the line - but this as the default response always seems weird to me. And it shows up so, so often. Worse still is when a fic might try to give Nya a little agency and nod at her trauma, only to spin on its heel the moment the author decides Jay needs to start sobbing about mops or something. (I'm probably coming off bitter here, but let's be real: this has been happening for seven years. I'm tired.)
This one is an absolute deal breaker: gratuitous sexual assault and/or capital R offenses. Doesn't matter who it happens to, honestly, but the absolute worst is when it happens to Jay (perpetrated by Nadakhan) and when the author acts like it's canon and writes as if it's a given. I actually have already written an entire two part essay on this - part one is here, with a link to part two at the end. Some of my stances in part two have shifted slightly (for instance, I've recently blocked both case study authors because every time I see someone endorsing their work, I want to deep fry my thumbs), but for the most part, this essay conveys my feelings on, nuances of, and rough history of this trend WAY better than I can here. And if you thought #2 came off kinda bitter, well. This essay is battery acid, but I mean every word. An opinion I didn't fully examine in the essay is that I also feel it's a disservice to Nadakhan's character - he's FASCINATING, so to see him reduced to a r*pist just makes me mad. Go after him for his CANON crimes, please. Stop making stuff up!!
Anyway - thanks for the ask! If you read the essay and have any questions, please let me know.
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What about their clash in the dungeons made Aemond obsessed with her? Was it because she fought back?
And how do you think Daeron would react/think of the way Aemond ‘forcibly’ did the things he did to her (saying this as vaguely as possible as I don’t want to spoil anyone lmao). Will it be an ‘all is fair in love and war’? This is with the assumption that Daeron is the only proper thinking male Hightower-Targ. Unless he is also depraved I do not mind if he is
I love these outtakes and I love you! Can’t wait for the next ep
AH I LOVE THESE OUTTAKES PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING 🫶
You might not have entered spoiler teritory, but I for sure will - so lemme continue this post under the cut
She definitely intrigued him - and that is incredibly important for Aemond.
Before she was captured by the Greens, Lady Tully insisted that she be allowed to fight alongside her brothers. She clashed swords with Aemond once the battle at Rook's Rest ensued - well, they fought closer to the Antlers than anything, but during the same bloodbath.
Thankfully for her life - but unfortunately for her autonomy and new-found freedom -, Lady Tully didn't manage to lay in too many blows. While she was busy engaging the Prince, she failed to see the Green Loyalists that flocked behind her. They managed to sever her Patellar ligament almost completely, and due to the pain, exhaustion and blood-loss, she fainted not long after.
To say that Aemond was dissatisfied with the way their brawl ended was an understatement. To his mind, he won unfairily - there is no glory to be taken when a stupid Redwyne footer cuts the leg of your future girl lol
So Aemond was already aware of her existence and fiery personality - now moreso than ever.
When he entered the Dungeons, after leaving her alone for so long, his plan was to make her feel stressed and unsafe. He wanted to give her a show of his power (i.e his threats: 《"I had in mind to let my men fuck you." He remarks dryly, but lets out a disappointed sigh. "But I don't think any of them would get it up to your whorish face."》).
He thought she'd beg for mercy, agree to do anything to turn her grandfather's banners to Aegon's cause. Because who wouldn't be desperate for medical attention, for fresh air, for clean clothes and warm food after they've been left in the dark for three weeks?
Not our Lady.
And that made him very interested in her, indeed.
She not only found the energy to be witty with him back, but she also attempted to gouge out his other eye.
She was anything but submissive, and Aemond caught himself wanting to understand her. To study her. To figure her out.
There are some really interesting studies out there (which I'll try to link if possible) that talk about serial killer mentality.
For most socio/psychopaths, getting to know their victim makes it harder for them to kill said person afterwards. Because they get to see them as more than just a means to an end - they start seeing them as human. Something closer to an equal. Something that clashes with their views on "exterminating" - they don't kill people they're intrigued by, people that make them feel good, people that give them a purpose ("Serial Murder - FBI").
So right off the bat, Lady Tully started meaning something for Aemond. And that immediately impacted him in such a way, that it made it impossible for him to detach from her.
He came by to visit her, again and again, and found a weird pattern of normality in their midnight talks. If he closed his eye, and abstained from thinking of the war (the only reason Lady Tully was even at his mercy), he could regard her as a "friend". As a woman who saw him for who he was, listened to him, and didn't run away - though not from lack of trying, mind you.
With time, his obsession grew and developed. And when she asked him whether or not her grandsire agreed to pledge for Aegon's cause, Aemond paniked.
Because House's Tully undoubted support meant that he had to actually let her go. He had to watch her leave him.
Bookcanon Aemond has A LOT of issues. And a very distinctive abandonment one. He would never give up his safe heaven. Never. That is why he remained silent in the face of her family's pleading letters (see Chapter 4, present in Oscar's dialogue: 《The young Lordling huffed annoyedly, jolting on the brink of madness, "The deranged cripple wouldn't reply to any of our ravens!"》).
Aemond clings to the riverlander because she showed him 3 pivotal qualities:
1) She proved that she can match his wit;
2) She was kind to him (bathed him, thanked him and praised him for being attentive - which no one else ever did);
3) Wrapped him in a false sense of understanding and security.
Now, whether or not Aemond grew to actually love his Lady, or if he's simply obsessed with his warped image of who she is, and subconsciously dependant with how she makes him feel is up for anyone to decide.
I WILL GLADLY GO INTO MORE DETAIL ABOUT AEMOND'S PATHOLOGY IF YOU GUYS WANT, BUT LET ME MOVE ONTO DAERON IN THE MEANTIME :")
Book Daeron is very dutiful. And he proved time and time again that he'll stand by his family, no matter who's in the right.
The most I see him do in regards to the impromptu marriage that Aemond imposed onto his Lady, is chastise his brother for potentially losing the support of Storm's End. He was betrothed to Floris Baratheon, after all, and his reckless behaviour can only bring one of two endings upon his family:
Either Lord Borros, the proud man that he's always been, takes Aemond's marriage as a slight and disregard of his daughter and family, leading him to turn his banners against Aegon, or he insists upon marrying one of his daughters to Daeron, instead.
You could make the argument that he might still give Floris to Aemond, thus making her his second wife. But the Lord of Storm's End is too proud a man to ever succumb his daughter to such a fate.
For we all know that a second wife is never as important or dear as the first.
Daeron would understand that they're at war. He would disagree with his brother's chosen match, but not because he thinks it unorthodox to marry a Lady against her will - but because his actions would lead to dire consequences brought upon their side.
At the end of the day, though, Aemond could have done much worse to Lady Tully. Forcing her to marry him, and not even claiming her virtue is the least of his worries.
It might even make him happy, given that a marriage isn't a true marriage until it is consummated. With a little luck, the Greens might be able to dissolve Aemond's reckless love match, and give Floris to him as intended.
#mina's asks#asked and answered#the harshest winters#bookcanon aemond targaryen#dark aemond x reader#this was a long one#but so much fun
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Aemond is so real because I too would cause so many problems on purpose and actively make my half-sisters life harder if my fifty smthn year old father married my teenage mother and forced her to reproduce with him but never gave her any attention or respect and instead let the daughter from his first marriage do whatever she wanted disrespecting the “sanctity” of marriage and duty that’s so impressed upon my own mother and my siblings. No one but her can step out of line and when she does our father always sticks up for her even though he cannot even spare me or my siblings a glance despite the fact he wanted us enough to marry and reproduce with a teenager.
In fact he forced this entire stressful situation because he wanted sons just to put his daughter from his first marriage on the throne and ignore them. In fact, he could’ve never remarried and no problems except the run of the mill misogyny which is still there but now there’s millions of other problems ontop of that but nooooo he had to get his dick wet after mutilating his first wife. And even after having sons he, at any point in time, could’ve changed laws concerning the succession of inheritance. He could’ve stepped down and instate Rhaenyra while still alive. There’s still the whole fact passing of bastards as trueborns is treason but he could’ve tried instead of playing dumb.
And that’s just the principle because ontop of that foundation my half sister’s side of the family and my own brother consistently bullied me my entire childhood culminating in her side beating me up 4 on 1 and her son gouging out my fucking eye and our father couldn’t even care about that he instead defended my grown adult sister again and threatened to torture me (12 yr old child) to get me to sell out my mother while I was down a fucking eye for saying my sisters illegitimate children are in fact illegitimate AND humiliated my mother once again by showing how little my father cared about us.
Like are you kidding??? I’d be homicidal and he’s not even intentional about it, like good on him tbh I would’ve killed with no regrets lmao idgaf. I believe in kinslayer rights, PLUS he’s an enjoyer of milfs instead of underage relatives <3
#almond and alimony#aemond targaryen#house of the dragon#house of dragons#he’s so real tbh#every other man in that show is so disgusting that a mommas boy that only cares about dragons is top tier
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7, 9 and 24 for that hater nation ask meme for whatever fandom you see fit to answer for each one :aheem:
7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how the fandom acts about them?
hunter toh......... i thought he was soooo overrated at first, and then i started to really love him. but then over time after being exposed to devastating fandom discourse constantly i was like yeah maybe i don't like him as much anymore LOL but i definitely wouldn't say i hate him!
9. worst part of canon
the fan service in chainsaw man with asa makes me want to gouge my eyes out but idk if that counts...
i'm sure i have a better example but something i've been thinking about lately is in trigun maximum i wish vash had a better support system? the basis of the story is that even though we turn on each other when we’re afraid humanity is inherently good. but by the end vash only has like 5 people he can call friends and everyone else STILL wants to fucking kill him even after everything is said and done. in my opinion i think to showcase Humanity’s Goodness he should’ve had a larger amount of people willing to fight alongside him bc he only has a handful of people who don’t want him to die and it’s just depressing lmao EDIT BETTER EXAMPLE: the 1998 trigun anime pairing wolfwood and milly fucking sucks
24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
god i think the owl house has some of the worst fandom discourse i've ever seen and that's saying A Lot. it’s better now but before season 3 some takes i saw about camila and luz were catastrophic. and mentioning certain toh ships is like throwing a grenade into a crowd
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🤲 CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU CONTENT? CAN I HAVE SOME CRUMBS OF THOUGHTS? 🥺
I love mothfriend a reasonable amount for a character that I don't even know how he looks like
Ur not gonna be happy about this lmao
TW for child abuse!! I don’t go into detail and I don’t plan to, but take care of yourself :)
SO I mentioned that when Hollow is initially taken by the cult, PK has a meeting in a far off kingdom, which just so happens to be OOF’s base of operations, and he brought bby Hollow along for the ride (they’re about 8/9ish at this point)
While PK is in the meeting, Hollow is left standing outside ‘guarding’ the door. (I say ‘guarding’ bc they weigh less than a bag of flour and they’re like 4 ft tall so they’re not exactly intimidating yet lmao)
SO
It’s been established in my other AUs that if a person is stained/poisoned with void, they can hear void speak. The more void in your system, the clearer you can hear it.
Bby Hollow has never tried to speak to their father before, not only because they aren’t aware that they can, but bc they fear the consequences of being found out. BUT when they’re suddenly grabbed around the waist and hoisted over a stranger’s shoulder, their first instinct is to cry out “FATHER!!” Into the void. Bc they may not know exactly what’s going on, but they do know that they’re being taken away from their post and don’t know where they’re going but they want their dad.
Meanwhile, in the meeting room, PK hears a child’s voice cry out for their father and he feels a visceral need to kill, maim, protect that has only ever surfaced once before, when the pure vessel was injured during a training accident. But! This meeting is important, and he can address the strange voices in his head later, once he and his child the pure vessel are home safe.
Bit of background info about the moths in this AU!!
Those who follow the Radiance are able to have some influence over dreams. It varies between each person but only the most in tune with their goddess can wield the dreamnail and enter Her realm - those who are most adept at dream magic are destined to lead the Order, and become the next Seer, leaving their past identity behind.
(Idk if it’s mentioned if there’s only one dreamnail in game but if it is uhh. There’s more than one. There used to be more when the moth tribe was thriving, but most have been lost)
Over the years, moths have developed a number of tonics and elixirs that can influence a person’s dreams. An expert moth alchemist can induce or rid a person of nightmares, make them see their worst fears come to life in Her realm, or show them their wildest dreams. They can even keep a person sleeping for days on end if they want to.
It’s also imperative that every member of OOF learns to lucid dream from a young age. What use is worshipping the Light if you’re completely unaware when you’re in Her realm?? Surrounded by the purest form of Her light???
Back to Hollow!!
You can BET that they kick and scream (albeit silently) and cry as much as possible bc they don’t know these people and they don’t want to go with them.
It’s only after they manage to gouge 4 deep lines across the face of the one holding them that their kidnappers give in and shove a sleeping draught into their eye and hope for the best (they don’t fall asleep but they do become sleepy asf - thus begins the journey of trying to find an elixir strong enough to put the bby void god to sleep when they keep absorbing everything they give them)
Hollow is immediately brought to the Seer, who induces terrible nightmares about PK. They dream of being tossed back into the abyss, of their father running them through with his blade after finding out about their ‘betrayal’ (their being alive-ness)
(Feel free to shoot some ideas of horrifying dream scenarios to traumatise this small child with)
When they wake up, screaming, crying so hard they’d be choking on their tears had they the ability to do so, they’re faced with the Seer, who pulls out every manipulation tactic in the book to sway them over to Her side, to ‘make them see reason’ about their father’s ‘true nature.’
She takes them into her arms, tells them that they’re safe now, and once they’ve calmed down, tells them the (VERY EMBELLISHED) story of her people. She tells them that her homeland was destroyed by the pale usurper, and that her people’s goddess only wanted to take back what is rightfully hers. The infection was never supposed to hurt anyone, but when the deaths of his people didn’t convince the Wyrm to give Her back Her land, she was left with no choice. It’s the Usurper’s fault really, for what kind of king is he that the deaths of his own people won’t convince him to give Her land back???
And Hollow, having never been given comfort in their life, even after that one time they were really hurt during training and their father got this look in his eye like he wanted to scoop them up and wrap them in a blanket and never let them go, immediately sinks into the Seer’s embrace, becoming more and more horrified by her story.
Their father wouldn’t do that, would he???
But then they remember
The countless bodies of their siblings, piled so high that the floor is no longer visible
The sickening crack and squelch of tiny bodies hitting the edge of platforms, being impaled on spikes
Their father’s face, impassive as he tossed them away. But that didn’t really happen, did it??
No cost too great
ANYWAYS
Also also, soul magic is HEAVILY associated with PK, so any use of it is banned, even to heal.
Thing is!! One thing that’s consistent about every vessel, is that they tend to be more adept at either soul or void magic. Every vessel can use both, but they tend to have one that they excel more at.
So. For example, Ghost is better at Void magic, hence why their more powerful spells are void based, whereas Hollow has more control over soul magic, and has far less control over void spells.
HOWEVER one thing that’s indisputably wired into every vessel’s head as an instinct is soul healing. If they get hurt, they heal. Simple.
No matter how hard Hollow tries to explain this however, all the Seer hears are excuses to use the filthy Wyrm’s power. Why must they betray Her like this?? After the Order rescued them?? Took them in?? Nurtured them??
Any time they’re caught using soul to heal, they’re refused medical attention. By the time they hit 15, they’re covered in cracks and scars.
LONG STORY SHORT Hollow in this AU can use all of PV’s attacks but they’re void instead of soul :)
WOW this is long so imma stop here for now lmao
I’m realising this is more background info than actual story at this point lol
#sry u get no mothfriend stuff till he’s got a design (I can picture him p clearly in my head tho so dw it won’t be long lmao)#childhood friends au#asks
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she is dead !! most likely. if shes not, shes probably past saving. but thennnn michael becomes helen <3 and its also bad for helen<3
now,,, for my beloved beloathed bitch. im telling you about mary keay
she has always been fascinated by leitners, aka cursed fucked up books collected by weird rich guy jurgen leitner. there are a few families who are all avatars (like the lukases, a family of lonely avatars, and in a way the fairchilds, but fairchild is just a name, theyre not related). and mary wanted her own. she married eric delano (gertrudes assistant !!) and had a baby with him. after gerard was born, mary explained the entities, the rituals, everything to eric. he decided to quit the institute, but theres a problem. you cant quit. youre connected to the eye and it wont let you go. the only way to disconnect yourself is to sever your connect to the eye. to your eyes. you have to gouge out your eyes.
and eric did. and then. mary killed him. skinned him, and put him in a book, a lietner, that trapped his ghost until mary gave it to gertrude and she burned his page.
she raised gerry to be like her, brought him along to meetings with avatars, made him hunt for leitners as a teen. gerard hated the name leitner, hated the man who he had never met who ruined his childhood. mary was always happy when he brought one home, but only ever happy with the books, never with him.
in 2012, mary skinned herself. put herself in the book. gerry was charged with the murder, but got off because of lack of evidence, despite the amount of post mortem mutilation. after this, gerry started working with gertrude. she promised to get rid of his mothers page (because he fucking hates her), and she did. gerry traveled with gertrude, trying to stop rituals, until he was died of a brain tumor in an american hospital in 2014
LMAO so he did ALL THAT he GOUGED his own eyes out. only for his wife to kill him. thts so fucking funny
oop. okay i mean. slay gertrude for getting rid of the page? damn. DAMN. sobs
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Judgement review
Finished the Yakuza games that’s not really a Yakuza game and it was really great. I was kind of wary, a whole bunch of new characters to get used to but this is probably one of my top ranking games in the RGG universe. This is a good game to jump into even if you don’t know anything about the Yakuza series too and just want something with a good plot.
Spoilers
The Good Shit:
The story is great. They’ve really tightened their writing skills and I was hooked the whole way through. Far less wacky conspiracies (though there was some) and more focused. I unfortunately spoiled the reveal of The Mole beforehand but I don’t think I would have guessed. No stupid ‘oh no the bad guy got his gun again!’ bullshit this time around thank god, that was really tiresome. The whole ‘for the greater good’ theme was done very well and personally hit hard, alziehimers is a topic that hits home for me. It all tied in well and nothing felt like a waste of time.
Fighting is still great while being different enough from Kiryu’s to keep it fresh. I found the game easier overall, not sure if that’s Yagami being easier to use or if the game is just easier anyway.
Looks great. Same as YK2 really.
I didn’t think they’d let you beat up a load of doctors doing their rounds but they did! How gaming should be
Yagami isn’t as likeable as Kiryu but I warmed to him eventually. He’s a lot less dumb and props to him for actually disarming his opponents. He can be pretty funny at times, he’s fairly dry.
Cast is solid all round really and there was no last minute ‘big bad’ introduced like Jingu. You interact with everyone plenty so they get time to grow and shine, good and bad. Some great female characters who weren’t just damsels in distress. More morally grey characters. And a redemption arc where the guy isn’t instantly killed off? Amazing. Unheard of.
Hoshino was cute and tbh I was scared he was going to get the Rikyia treatment and end up in a dumpster with his eyes gouged out but they let my boy live. A guy who just wants to do his job and avoid the extra responsibilities, after my own heart LMAO
Some good tracks here, Murase’s boss theme and the long battle theme stand out, as well as ‘it’s showtime’
Kamurocho Go was handy.
That yakuza car heat action LMFAO
I enjoyed the investigation scenes.
The chase scenes are also done well here, I enjoyed them a lot as a change of pace
Drone parts are ok
Onomichio returns
The Bad Shit:
Tailing missions got very tedious very fast. I get it’s detective work, but it was boring. And that last one with the glove guy really got irritating when he got lost in the crowds. Took me 15 attempts as I kept losing patience as it goes on so long.
Maybe I didn’t use it right, but Crane style never felt that useful.
Mortal wounds is a bullshit concept and just made shit more annoying than it had to be.
Kaito could have had a bit more screentime, he disappers off a lot.
I get yagami isn’t a built like a tank like Kiryu, but he seems to get knocked on his arse a lot easier and takes way too long to get up.
Why is Kurowia such a powerhouse? Never really got that.
Dice and Cube hurts my eyeballs
The second Saori mission was pretty cringe inducing and the comments from Kaito and Yagami were gross. Really irritated me
Kim can get fucked. Whiny bitch. And constantly having to deal with those Keihin gangs on his behalf was so fucking annoying, much worse than street thugs considereing they could do mortal damage.
Some shit I saw coming a mile off, like Sugihara actually being Emi’s brother.
What is with that weird gimp, he was in 6 and back here again and it’s never explained? WTF is with him.
I never quite got if it’s meant to be part of the same world as yakuza or not. The same shops and even staff appear. Sure, the Tojo clan is there, but Daigo and the rest are never mentioned nor seem interested in the crazy shit going on, even if it is a third rate family at the centre of it. Kiryu is mentioned indirectly once (maybe more, I stuck to the main story), and evidence of his shenanigans is there, like Shangri-La. Date is never mentioned, even though his police division is involved. But the timelines don’t seem to match up with what happened in 7? I’ve not played that one yet actually, so maybe it works somehow, but it did get confusing. I know they wanted to keep this separate so newcomers wouldn’t feel lost.
A great game altogether, even if you never played Yakuza. The story is the real draw of this game, really engaging with a solid cast. Nobody felt wasted, which is unfortunately often the case in other titles.
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Can I survive them? Pt.1(?)
So, my dad and I are huge slasher fans, and last night we had an in-depth talk if we could take slashers or at least survive them. And this is what I came up with for myself.
Jason Voorhees (og)
Right off the bat, probably.
I wouldn't do anything to cause problems in his forest, and if anything I'd be there to do something good.
Now, of course if it's a situation of he's trying to kill me just to kill me? No, absolutely not.
I'd see that behemoth of a man and just accept death.
I'd say, 6/10 probably could survive, if I wasn't dumb.
Michael Myers (og)
Haha. No.
If he wants me dead? I'm dead.
Only way I'm surviving is if I run for the hills, but even then I probably won't get far.
1/10 very likely gonna die
Old man Myers (aka, 2018 Michael Myers)
Probably.
I wouldn't try and get in his way, or try to cause problems, so I have that going for me.
But if he ended up in my house? Hell no.
I know how to pick my battles if he was out to get me I'd accept my fate.
Solid 3/10. Only because I think he might not kill me simply due to the fact im a damn coward when it comes to big people.
Michael Myers (RZ)
Honestly?
No fucking clue.
I mean, if he did want me dead, he could easily take me out. He's like, 6'9.
But if I saw someone that big I wouldn't even look at them, and I sure as hell wouldn't enter an abandoned house where people died in.
Only other reason he might not kill me is because I'd probably be like 'wow you're tall, cool' if I ever did see him.
I'd say... 4.5/10.
Freddy Krueger
Lmao, yeah.
1; I don't dream, and when I do I pretty much recognize it's a dream.
Even then, if I'm lucid during a fucked up dream? I just start screaming that it's a dream and isn't real.
And, if it isn't a dream and he's physically coming after me?
Man fuck you krueger I'll beat your crispy ass.
9/10, like my odds but they're not 100%
Billy Lenz
Bold of you to assume we'd fight.
But in all honesty, good chance of beating his ass.
I fight dirty because I'm not that strong, so if anyone comes at me I start ripping off ears and gouging out eyes.
Even then, it's twink on twink violence.
7.5/10 really good odds.
Vincent Sinclair
honestly great odds but now for the reason you think.
I'm cajun, aka I was born and raised in southern Louisiana.
If anything, I'd meet Vincent because I was genuinely interested in his art.
And I don't think he'd find a reason to kill me (neither would Bo)
I have those good ol' southern manners, y'know??
So, 9/10, really like my odds.
Bo Sinclair
Good odds, bad reasons.
As with Vincent, I'm cajun, and would definitely end up less as a tourist, more as a lost idiot needing gas
Knowing me, I'd probably stumble across some incriminating evidence on accident, also knowing me, I'd absolutely ignore it
And well, I'm a witness, so Bo can't exactly let me go
I'd just be really (probably too) kind about the whole thing, and he wouldn't really wanna kill me
5/10, I live, but probably not allowed to leave
Bubba Sawyer (og Leatherface)
I'd compliment his mask, or bracelet.
It'd be an in the moment, panicked statement to save my own ass, sorta compliment, but i digress.
He'd (hopefully) grow interested, so I'd continue to compliment him.
Which might lead to him kidnapping me but
So, did I win? ..not really considering if I do live through it, I'll just end up being dragged into the family.
5/10, I lived but at what cost?
Any of the ghostfaces
OH HELL YEAH
One, I don't answer my phone
Two, when I do it's to be an idiot, especially to telemarketers
Three, I know how to improvise weapons
In short, if one even came at me, nontheless called me first, they ain't getting far.
10/10, can beat and would beat again.
#jason voorhees#micheal myers#rz michael myers#freddy krueger#billy lenz#vincent sinclair#bo sinclair#bubba sawyer#ghostface#friday the 13th#halloween kills#halloween#rz halloween#nightmare on elm street#black christmas#house of wax#texas chainsaw massacre#tcm#scream
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I think saying they're little shits is a bit too much (well with Jace anyway. Can't say for Luke since he's more of a blank book than his brother. Then he decided it was a-ok to laugh at the pig placed in front of Aemond when the dinner was so blatantly a high tense affair). Honestly both boys haven't been shown enough onscreen for me to get a good grasp of who they are. Jace seems to be stubbornly drinking his mother's kool-aid even though all Aemond has to do is declare everyone should drain their cups to his STRONG nephews before Jace (and Luke) lose their shit. So that kool aid isn't working for Jace was well as he likes to believe.
Both boys seem to be what, in their teens? They should have realized that Aemond was making a trap with the way he emphasized STRONG. Like c'mon guys, don't tell me your mom and stepfather didn't brief you before this dinner? (actually they probably didn't, or didn't do so properly).
At least Cregan and Sara will be able to get Jace to stop gaslighting himself (hopefully lmao) and get some discipline into him. I don't want to say too much for anyone that doesn't know Luke's fate from the books, but Luke's a lost cause.
Tbh I'm gonna be really curious to see how next season pans out since Jace will likely be in Winterfell then. This is an age where while it's not a holy shit monumental moment, it's less of a surprise than in the future when a dragon pops up over the moors of Winterfell with a rider on its back heading for a visit. Given Aegon's prophecy is a re-occurring thing (still salty about that change but I digress), I think we will get multiple episodes of Jace in Winterfell. If it doesn't stretch all of season 2 it will stretch for a bulk of it.
If someone mocked me with a pig because my dragon egg didn't hatch. Then gouged out my eye, when I was already neutralized, because I claimed the biggest dragon out there. Then, years later without showing any regrets or trying a sincere apology, not only laughed at my face but looked at me with such smugness because they put a roasted pig in front of me at the dinner table. I would have asked Vhagar to eat him after the dinner, really. So yeah, I call him a little shit.
At that point both Jace (16) and Luke (14) know that they are bastards, and they understand what being a bastard means. But they not only follow his mother's lies (that is, at certain level, reasonable, at least in public), but act outraged when anyone tell them the truth, even in their close family circle, a truth they perfectly know and understand. So, again, I call them a little shits.
The same way Jon Snow had his "welcome to real life" moment with Donald Noye, I hope Jace have a similar moment with Cregan and Sara at Witerfell.
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Part Two of Connor's somewhat eternal misery caused by the platonic yandere batfam :(
[This is angst, and warning: su1c1de at the end]
.... "F-Flanny.... I am so glad that you liked the flan I brought you." Connor said with a straight face with a tone that somehow sounded sadly robotic, sitting on his bedroom floor with paid flan set six feet apart from him as if he was watching someone eat, knowing damn well that his so-called family took away whom was mostly his special someone, Flanny Confectionery.. Flanny... Flanny..
Ever since the batfam took Connor into the Wayne Manor by force, he can't help but wished to cherish his moments with Flanny sooner. He doesn't understand what's so special about him in the first place, all he sees are the ugliest flaws meant to entertain you. He has the urge to commit arson to the Wayne Manor, but he has no energy but to spend all of his energy on pretending that Flanny is there with him right now, wishing that he's still in the same apartment with her instead of being a part of the batfam.
As soon as it's time for Connor to sleep, he waits for all of the batfam to go out into the night to do their.. saving Gotham bs that is literally caused by the same mf with green hair for like, a 100th time when he should get his eyes gouged out rn as he went to sneakily disable the cameras in his bedroom, turn off the lights, and laid down in bed to close his eyes as if light faded away in his white, soulless eyes.
"Connor!!! C'mon don't be a scaredy cat, furries aren't even that bad to begin with!" Flanny exclaimed with facts in Connor's memory, sitting across the diner table from Connor with her palm underneath her chin (it's canon that Flanny likes furries lmao cuz I'm the Almighty Jayzee) and chuckled when she saw how offended Connor looked when furries are mentioned. "Ew, don't get me started on-" Connor then sees a furry, "FURRY!!!!!!" the whole diner just fucking burned in hell after Connor casually commits arson as soon as he sees one, harmless furry out of disgust and hatred. They both stood there in front of the burning diner as if everything was normal.. Connor wishes that Flanny is alive, then maybe everything will be okay, right...?
"WAKE UP, CONNOR PECCANT! Father wants me to get you out of your room, let go of.. whatever her name is, and spend time with us more." Damian Wayne yelled when he rolled Connor off the bed with just two small-like hands, calling him by his full name as if he is in huge trouble. Usually the bat family members would shout at him by his full name, whether they're excited or not to tell him something. Whether it's how many weeks he's grounded, orrr a surprise that Connor just takes it in and let it rot somewhere hidden in his room. Connor scoffed with absolute annoyance and pissed off about the fact that Damian had the audacity to forget Flanny's name as if he didn't go along with the family's mur-, "Bro shut your whiny ass and get out of my room, you heard me, GTFO MY ROOM BITCH-!" Connor and Damian had a fist fight throughout the whole Wayne Manor, almost as if they're going on and on for eternity to the point where Tim just walked over and casually spilled coffee on Connor's "lucky blue jacket" to get him and Dami to stfu and touch grass.
Day after day of Connor being forced to spend time with the bat family outside of his room, whether it would be touching grass with Damian observing the tiniest things like beetles and read books together at the Wayne Manor's library, listening to Dick yapping about the craziest times he experienced with a hearty tone with Connor just zoning out, Tim trying to get Connor to stay up late and listen to that buffoon yap about what it takes to be smart, and/or play video games with Jason. He doesn't spend time with Stephanie and Cass, not even Duke for his sake because- actually, rarely. Whether he's forced to somehow be the background character at Duke, Stephanie and Cass's "movie thing" as another way of spending time with family, whether it's Duke's favorite action movies that are lame in Connor's opinion, and/or the girls' picked out movies that are just.. cheesy teen romances that sounded like Flanny would be a fan of.
Connor rarely spends time with Bruce Wayne, only when it comes to help out with planning out when they'll attend somewhere important such as the gala for example and that's it.
Whenever Connor spends time with the rest of the Batfam, he just zones out during their yapping and daydreams about his old life that involves Flanny being a glutton for sweets as usual, his alcoholic mother and his absent father who gave no shits about him during most of his childhood, Shawn being a lustful douchebag when it comes to women he tries to flirt with and fails shortly after, Randall nervously being somewhat terrible at being a people pleaser, and all of that chaos were the only memories Connor really cherish to this day when he should've cherished them sooner. He grew... frowny.. and his eyes aren't so straight up tired-like, but almost as if he just gave up.
The bat family would act like they haven't done anything, despite the manipulation that have caused Connor to be kind of dependent on them for basic human needs like food and water. One of them would sometimes play with his emotions with, Dick Grayson, playfully threatening to delete every single memory that contains Flanny in it that made Connor somewhat afraid because those memories of Flanny were the only ones that kept him sane. So Connor just casually goes along with their family activities (such as watching a movie together) in order to not let go of one bit of his sanity left, refraining himself from rebellion otherwise he'll get grounded for almost a year or worse, he won't remember anyone else such as Shawn anymore...
One night, Connor had enough. He quickly disabled the cameras again in his bedroom while Bruce just got pissed off and has to do all the working to turn them on again and again, only for the cameras to stay disabled. Connor opened his window and gently placed his hands on the railings of his balcony, sadly looking down to the ground instead of paying attention to the beauty of the moon above him shining his brown hair. He leans closer onto the railing of his bedroom balcony as the wind gently blows his beautiful, messy brown hair barely taken care of for the past 8 days.
......
Farewell, Connor- CRACK!
Connor Peccant (my oc) and the platonic yandere batfam headcanons.
Connor will not hesitate to burn everything they own, including the bat computer to the point where he gets sent to the Arkham Asylum for a temporary time.
Connor is the type of dude who would do everything to piss them off in order to have fun and get revenge on them for his own pleasure at the same time for taking him away from Flanny and the rest of his hometown.
Connor would never be nice to them lmao. If he were a nice one, then he’d probably be mentally broken for being an easily-manipulated doormat in life.
The batfam would lock up Connor for 24 hours straight in his “new room”, but somehow the security cameras get disabled the second he gets grounded for purposefully causing chaos for both fun and revenge.
If Flanny actually found Connor in that situation with the batfam, they’ll work together to fight and murder them so that they can go back home in peace as if they’re “saints.”
#platonic yandere batfam#the silly chaoz of flanny n connor headcanons#artists on tumblr#ocs#my oc art#Connor Peccant 🪓🔥#batman#nightwing#batgirl#damian wayne#jason todd#platonic yandere#platonic yandere angst#platonic yandere damian wayne
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